The following verses were transcribed from the online version of Fun made available by the Suzy Covey Comic Book Collection in the George A. Smathers Libraries, University of Florida, using ABBYY FineReader software. — George P. Landow
My hero’s a party of tenderish age
Who early determined to live by his pen.
He studied the works of each poet and sage,
And gloated o’er novels by popular men.
But the author who struck him at once with his style
Was the Chelsea philosopher Thomas Carlyle.
Salt tears o'er the “French Revolution” he shed,
And “Sartor Resartus” would fill him with glee;
The “Lectures on Heroes,” and “Friedrich” ’tis said,
Would spoil his digestion at dinner and tea.
And often he’d wander for many a mile
“To gaze on the home of great Thomas Carlyle!”
He'd stare at the windows of 5, Cheyne Row,
And yearn to behold the philosopher’s face,
Till Bobbies would cheerfully urge him to go —
And ask why so often he haunted the place
And then he'd reply, with an innocent smile,
“To gaze on the features of Thomas Carlyle!”
Said he, “If I am in a draper's employ,
Most eminent authors rise up from the ranks.”
So editors then he began to annoy;
But, lo! they “declined’’ all his efforts “with thanks”;
Whilst some even hinted his “copy” was vile—
A weak imitation of Thomas Carlyle!
He laboured for years: bet affairs didn’t mend—
In paper and stamps he’d exhausted his pay;
Though numerous sorry epistles he penned,
Their callous hard-heartedness stood in the way.
Said he “They are lunatics, laden with guile,—
“I’m sure I’m as clever as Thomas Carlyle!”
When last I beheld him he'd shabbyish clothes.
And was writing, to try and replenish his purse,
Some slangy effusions for music-hall “pro’s”
Who paid him a matter of sixpence a verse.
He said he’d desisted (at last for a while)
From trying to emulate Thomas Carlyle!
“Hero Worship.” Fun (3 May 1876): 195. Online version from the Suzy Covey Comic Book Collection in the George A. Smathers Libraries, University of Florida. Web. 21 April 2016.
Created 21 April 2016