“The Two Lord Randolphs. Signed “Phil F.” Fun (18 December 1885). Courtesy of the Suzy Covey Comic Book Collection in the George A. Smathers Libraries, University of Florida. Click on image to enlarge it.

[“It happens,” says a Conservative contemporary,” there are two Lord Randolphs in one. There is the Lord Randolph who is one of the most industrious of politicians, who is capable of working in the study for eight hours a day, and who understands that the first business of statesmanship is government and administration. The other Lord Randolph,” it points out, "is the brilliant, pungent, humorous ‘slogger’ - a ‘bruiser’ such as the opposite ranks [i.e. the Liberals] are supplied with.”]

        This is the Gentle Randolph,
Who studies intently eight hours a day,
And never indulges in jokelets gay;
Nor rushes about in a rampant style,
All Liberal statesmen of sense to revile.
He believes in sound business-like statesmanship,
And never goes in for a verbal slip;
But steady, industrious, truthful is he,
And he's always observed to go home to his tea.
He never goes in for the bullying plan,
For he is such a quiet and good young man —
         Such is the No. I Randolph!

        This is the Raging Randolph! —
Who scents the battle afar, and "goes”
Right for the faces of Liberal foes;
He here is the “Bruiser” of terrible form,
Who gives it (be thinks) to Gladstonians warm.
A furious frenay arouses his hair —
His nostrils quiver—his eyeballs glare;
He lets go his fist with a mighty bang,
And indulges, the while, in the choicest slang
And altitudes fierce doth he strike alway,
Yet, strange to say, no one shows dismay,
        Or runs from the Reckless Randolph.

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Last modified 31 May 2018